John and Mary, you make up a challenging combination. John likes routine and predictability, while Mary prefers change and the unexpected. The numbers four and five stand for each other's polar opposites in many ways. And, interestingly, this is often where the initial attraction lies. John is drawn to Mary’s daring, adventurous, dynamic and energetic life. On the other hand, Mary admires the control and discipline John seems to have.

Quite often, this combination makes for a dynamic relationship comparable to a roller coaster ride. So, it is not difficult to conclude that this combination can only survive if your mutual love is strong enough to give each other room to live the life style of your respective choices. There is nothing gained by trying to change your partner. Your needs are simply too far apart.

John will have to accept the fact that Mary is not predictable and, therefore, Mary will never be happy living a too-structured life where everything can be forecast. Mary should make peace with John’s need for a more organized and controlled environment.

Very different attitudes can also be noticed in other areas. Mary is sensual and feels totally comfortable with other people. Mary is more social and, probably, has a wild streak. John can be social when the occasion calls for it, but John will always keep a certain amount of distance.  When choosing company, John is more discriminate and tends to hold on to protocol longer. Although as a rule more conventional and careful, John can, when the occasion is just right, reveal an extrovert, even outrageous, side.

When it comes to opinions, John and Mary, you will find yourself on opposite sides more often than not. John may be Republican while Mary votes Democrat. John needs a somewhat structured spiritual connection. Mary’s spiritual world is very imaginative and more changeable. John may be much more willing to accept rules and regulations that Mary will try to break with every opportunity.

Of course, these are just examples provided to give you a picture of what this combination may bring about, and not to be taken too literally.

Interestingly, this kind of relationship can be very powerful and long lasting. The key to achieve that is not to take yourself and your concepts too seriously - something John in particular may have to work on - and maintain your sense of humor. If you can do that, you will be able to enjoy each other’s company instead of getting irritated by the differences you encounter.

So, keep in mind that opinions are just opinions, with relative values. On the other hand, a sense of right and wrong, a moral foundation, should not be relative. Sometimes, we find ourselves confused, attaching the same importance to our opinions and moral convictions, and when that happens, it is no longer possible to enjoy or build on the differences.

John and Mary, this is where the danger lies in your four and five combination. Once the differences become so important you can no longer appreciate your partner, the end of the relationship is unavoidable. Therefore, go ahead and work on developing these two key qualities - tolerance and open-mindedness - so that you can build a happy and healthy relationship where Mary’s adventurous spirit and energy and John’s control and discipline will stand side by side.

4  & 6  Compatibility (and vice versa)

It is not all that common for these two numbers to “fall in love.” Although these numbers carry some common traits - the two of them are practical, grounded, and highly responsible - they are rarely interested in each other. The four and the six are both family-oriented numbers, with a strong sense of community and loyalty to others, but they tend to compete where you might expect them to support each other. This is only one aspect of your charts, but, quite possibly, the hardest to overcome at the onset of the relationship. However, if support prevails over competition and you do become involved in a romantic relationship, it will usually be a strong, comfortable alliance right from the very beginning, an alliance that will, more often than not, last for a long time. It will be the kind of relationship others recognize and view as indestructible. It is understood that “John and Mary are always together”, you make the “perfect couple” - those are statements people around you wouldn’t even consider questioning.

This contradiction is explained by the fact that you have a lot in common in some ways but, at the same time, you have some major differences to overcome.

As we mentioned, John and Mary, the two of you are responsible and family oriented. Your priorities have to do with the home, children, friends, stability and security. You are both very loyal and protective of each other and of those you care about. It is in the underlying energy and in the way you express it that you are very different. While John relies on structure, discipline, and control to protect, love and care for others, Mary relies on love, sacrifice and forgiveness. John is much less flexible and may, at times, feel that Mary is too soft and forgiving. You make up a relationship typically characterized as the disciplinary father and the soft mother, or vice versa.

For those around you, the impression is that John is harder and less loving, while Mary is pure love and gentleness. This is not an accurate perception, though. John’s love is no less strong than Mary’s - it is just not as openly expressed. When push comes to shove, John will fight and sacrifice just about anything to protect Mary, the children, or anyone else who is part of John’s life.

A certain danger exists when some of these attributes become too strong. John’s need for discipline and structure may, at some point, become too much for Mary, suffocating and limiting Mary’s ability to express love easily and without fear. Another possibility would be Mary becoming a bit of a doormat everyone takes advantage of, which might lead John to lose respect for Mary.

John and Mary, you can, together, balance these opposites and live a strong, lifelong relationship if you just remember that, deep inside, you value the same things.

4  & 7  Compatibility (and vice versa)

John and Mary, your combination is almost made in heaven. The “almost” can’t be left out because there are some sharp angles to be rounded off.  This relationship is founded more on intellectual and spiritual levels than on the sensual, physical plane. John is practical and grounded, goal-oriented - John is a doer. John can take ideas, quickly eliminate what won’t work or is unrealistic, and then make the realistic ideas materialize. John is of the earth. Mary, on the other hand, is full of ideas and spiritual search, philosophical and a bit of a dreamer. So, earth and heaven make up this combination, and, just like earth and heaven, you can’t exist without each other. Although this is only one aspect of the chart, its influence will help you overcome many of the obstacles and challenges inherit in every relationship.

This combination is often found among relationships that started at a very early age - something that can be explained by the fact that both numbers are drawn to each other because what they have to offer is exactly what they need from each other. John experiences Mary’s more abstract and philosophical outlook on life as offering freedom and space for John’s solid, dependable, but somewhat too structured, restricting views. At the same time, John offers Mary a stable, secure port in an internal universe that is often chaotic and highly unstable. As a number seven, Mary knows the dangers that lurk in the dark corners of the subconscious when the mind wonders too far into the realms of dreams and abstract fears. While John offers a safe haven to Mary, helping Mary find peace and comfort, Mary, in return, brings freedom to John’s spiritual and mental experiences. Supported by this mutual complementation, this four and seven combination can bring about childhood romances that will last for a lifetime.

The sharp angles I mentioned earlier are found on the more mundane, physical plane. This is where you both may have to compromise if you want your relationship to develop. While John requires order and respectability, Mary is more comfortable with a bit of chaos, in which Mary can pose as an observer, an unconventional observer, not per se seeking the approval of others.

If you are successful in compromising on the material plane, your relationship will be very satisfying and you will get as close to the proverbial “soul mates” as any two people can get.

4  & 8  Compatibility (and vice versa)

This an excellent combination of numbers, not only in romance, but also in business. The four and the eight are like the gears in an engine. They connect perfectly and increase each other’s torque. By joining their forces, they triple or quadruple their output. This is considered the best possible blending of archetypes for a business.

John delivers the persistence, determination, dependability, and methodical approach required to reaching any set goal, while Mary, the visionary, brings in the conviction that no dream is unattainable.

Fortunately, a similar synergy exists in romance as well. Although the four and the eight are different in many ways, they respect each other and recognize each other’s value. Together, they are able to create a wonderful environment of trust, love and deep spiritual bonding.

John and Mary, although this aspect of your charts reveals an almost perfect combination, dangers do exist, like in any other number combination. Mary will eventually need to try something that John will perceive as outrageous and doomed to fail. Mary’s stubborn determination and at times authoritarian approach may very well become a major irritant in John’s life. John, whenever that happens, the best approach is to simply back off. Communicate your ideas, but don’t ever try too hard to persuade Mary to give up a plan or a goal Mary believes in. By the same token, Mary will, at times, feel that John is a stick in the mud who doesn’t dare to step off the beaten path. In such situations, Mary would do well to remember that such behavior does not mean a lack of courage on John’s part, but simply that John will not waste time or take risks for something John doesn’t believe in. In any of the situations just described, feelings of frustration may overshadow the love and respect that is the foundation of this relationship, leading to devastating results. Although rare, it is not unheard of for this combination to survive several major breakdown-reconciliation experiences, even divorce and re-marriage. The way to avoid pushing it too far is through compromise. Compromise is the key word to safeguard this excellent number combination. Sometimes, John, even when you know a project is doomed to fail, it may still be worthwhile to pursue it. As for you, Mary, your goals or ideas may be valid, yet, as you typically become more enthusiastic and motivated when John - or anyone else for that matter - says it is impossible, you might want to consider whether pursuing it is the smart thing to do.

4  & 9  Compatibility (and vice versa)

John and Mary, this part of the chart reveals some important differences you will have to learn to accept if you want this relationship to last. There is very little where the four and the nine see eye to eye. The problem is not so much that the four and the nine are not compatible, but that they simply don’t connect.

As always, you have to keep in mind that this is only one aspect of the chart, but even with that perspective, this is not a promising combination.

Have you ever met someone you had an immediate dislike for, or, perhaps, not so much a dislike, but an inability to make some kind of connection - a level where you could relate? No two numbers reflect that kind of unexplainable negative vibration as clearly as the four and the nine. The fact that you have a relationship is proof that other numbers in your chart are compatible to such an extent that they overcome this particular “alien” combination. John and Mary, the success of your relationship lies on a large part on your willingness to allow each other a lot of freedom. Think of this relationship more as two strangers who love each other, than two like souls who found each other and fell in love. There is nothing to be gained by attempting to learn even the deepest secrets and inner experiences of your partner. In this relationship, the motto is:  the less the better. The less you try to understand your partner, the more you will be able to let love weld your hearts while keeping your minds free.

John, you will need to allow Mary a life devoted to people or projects you could never get excited about. Mary will have to compromise as well. Idealistic as Mary is, Mary can be self-righteous and annoyingly opinionated. If you try to change your partner, or persist in demanding that your partner sees things from your perspective, the only result will be the opposite of what you tried to accomplish: more distance, more confusion, more alienation.

The answer lies on recognizing the fact that you walk on parallel paths. So, in order to preserve your relationship, you must build a life style that will guarantee that your ways will never cross, that there will always be some distance between you. I feel, however, that it is necessary to stress that this is only one aspect of the chart. There is much more involved in your relationship and, perhaps, the complete lack of connection between the four and the nine will never become much of an issue. But if it does, remember that the distance between these numbers is the only thing that makes it possible for them to live in harmony. Try to overcome the distance and harmony no longer exists.

5  & 5  Compatibility (and vice versa)

John and Mary, in this particular part of the chart, you both have a five, a number full of contradictions, no matter where it is found. For example, the five is sensual and freedom loving. It doesn’t like to be tied down in any way. The five carries a tendency for indulgence, often expressed in sexual promiscuity, overeating, or drug or alcohol abuse. Paradoxically, the five is also loyal and less likely to cheat than any other number. The five will avoid commitment as much as possible, but once committed it takes it very seriously.

Probably, you both recognize this within yourself and each other. You both take your commitment very seriously and you are both willing to accept a lot from each other. With your tolerant, easy going and flexible personality, you know how to adapt to each other, allowing your partner more freedom than most couples. This mutual understanding is just one of the many strong supports in this combination that can thus weather many storms.

However, there is a dangerous side to this relationship, as there is to any other.

John and Mary, the danger does not come from outside, but from inside. You are both adventurous people who require change and variety in your lives. You don’t like routine and often make a change. Even major changes. Such as switching career or moving to another town. Even when there is really no rational need for this change.

It is this urge for freedom and adventure that can also be the source of trouble. This tendency towards trying new things, experimenting with the boundaries of life, is sometimes expressed in a somewhat wild life style that often includes drugs or other vices.

In most partnerships, if one partner has a “wild streak” the other may be able to put on the brakes. In your particular case, you may find yourself in a situation where both of you have ventured into the danger zone and there may be no one to put on the brakes.

John and Mary, the key to a successful relationship for you is not hard to grasp - just be yourself. You have much in common and all the ingredients are there for a long and happy and probably fun-filled relationship. However, in order to prevent a slow slide into a lifestyle that could eventually be quite difficult to get out of, you must be absolute honest and use a healthy dose of self-criticism. When you see yourself - or your partner - sliding towards some form of abuse, engaging in a search for the pleasures of the flesh, do not hesitate to act promptly and honestly. Be careful not to let your need for freedom and adventure push you in the wrong direction. More than in any other number combination, discipline and moral values are required.

5  & 6  Compatibility (and vice versa)

John, you are attracted to Mary’s strength and stability. Mary is the grounded force, offering almost unconditional love and protection. You feel safe and secure in Mary’s love.

Mary thrives on giving love, comfort and protection. In short, Mary is John’s haven.

Mary, you are attracted to John because you recognize in John a free spirit. John has courage and curiosity and brings excitement and growth to the relationship. The five and the six complement each other very well.

It is interesting to note that this kind of partnership is somewhat rare due to some initial distrust the six and the five have to overcome when they first meet. The five and the six archetypes have very little in common and usually don’t reach out to bridge the gap.  As a consequence, although not impossible, love at first sight is rarely found in this number combination.

When a five and six are drawn to each other, it is usually very physical and sensual. Once you connect, John and Mary, the attraction quickly grows powerful, overshadowing just about everything else in your lives. This physical attraction is a strong foundation and while many couples, after a period time, often lose interest in the physical aspect - at least to some degree - in your particular case the physical attraction will last a long time and remain powerful. This physical attraction is particularly important to John, who is by nature a sensual person.

Once the initial distrust is overcome, Mary realizes that there is much more substance to John than John initially revealed. Mary found out that John, in spite of a reluctance to commit, is extremely loyal and trustworthy. The popular notion that people who change so easily and adapt to new circumstances quickly may not be so strong in their commitment is proven wrong when applied to the five. In fact, John is less likely to cheat than most people. On the other hand, Mary can become a source of frustration and jealousy for John because Mary gives love freely and generously. In order to keep harmony, John needs to understand that this is simply Mary’s nature. Mary is quick with hugs and shows of care and love to other people, but this should not be a reason for John not to trust Mary, or to be jealous. Mary simply has a lot of love to give. Teaching, healing, and counseling - even if they are not part of Mary’s career - are major ingredients in the makeup of a six, and Mary needs avenues to express them.

It is important that John keeps that in mind and does not let misplaced jealousy come between them.

The most difficult challenge Mary may have to overcome is to accept the fact that John is certainly a social animal. For John to be happy, John must live a dynamic life; full of impulsive decisions, changes, social activities and travel. With some exaggeration, you might say that Mary loves the home while John loves the pub. Keeping that in mind, you will both need to offer your partner a lifestyle that is in harmony with what you yourself want.

© Copyright 1987, 1994, 2003 by Hans Decoz.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, by any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior written consent of the copyright owner.

— advertisement —

Home | Site Map | Top of Page
©1997-2006 Decoz® c/o Tarot.com, 7412 SW Beaverton-Hillsdale Hwy #102, Portland, OR, 97225, USA - Ph: 503-802-7935 Fax: 503-244-7749